🎤 Spotlight

What Makes a Situationship?

It was the 2nd week of sophomore year, and I was late to chemistry. I walked in, and he was the first person I made eye contact with. I just sat down, and at the end of class he ran to the door and opened it for me. I said thank you a bit hesitantly, and he ran to the NEXT door and said, “Hey, I'm Jiji." I was like, "Why is this guy talking to me?" BUT regardless, I responded. “Hey, I'm Peonie.” Then he shook my hand like an old man? He started walking with me, and I said I needed to find the cafeteria. I asked where the cafeteria was, and he was like, "Idk." He was asking about me and my life, but I was a little shy with this being the first time we talked. Then we found the cafeteria, and I later realized he was pretending not to know where the lunchroom was at the school he'd been attending. 2. WHOLE. YEARS. What I didn't realize was that, that would be the beginning of a long situationship with Jiji. After three months of being friends, I confessed…. I stopped walking and held my breath. Then we stopped, and I said I like you. Then he was like, "If it wasn't obvious, I'd like you." After that I thought we’d be together…boy, was I wrong! The days that followed we started hanging out more after school and during. Then I made the fatal mistake of ghosting him due to issues at home. My mom was having a hard time with her boyfriend, and took it out on me. Then we had to get rid of the cat. I stopped talking to him, and it felt like I was going through life in a daze. I was failing classes and was overall depressed. I was taking my anger out on people including him. We didn't talk for about a month… Then one day he came up to me and said, I miss you. Our relationship was stronger. He waited outside the dance room for me and drew the scenery while waiting. We were calling more and texting more, and it was like a part of my schedule and daily life. Our relationship was more than a friendship but less than dating. All I knew was that Jiji was a part of my schedule and an important part of my life. We were outside one day on a random day, and it got silent. We paused for a moment, and we just turned to each other and kissed. I was having a problem at school with this gay boy saying inappropriate things about Jiji and touching me inappropriately. It hindered my relationship with Jiji. The whole relationship was just back and forth after that with ghosting, missing each other, and avoidance. One day on the last day of school I sent him an "I miss you" text. And I thought he was with a girl, and I didn't want to be that person. I had no response…and later learned it was because I sent it to the wrong person! Then he followed my sister and was posting about me and addressed me directly in his post. This was right before I started going to my new school. We were just friends for a while after. He stopped talking to me on September 18, on a Thursday night. My routine was broken. I had already been anxious, and he was pretty distant. He sent me a “can we talk” text. My heart dropped to my ass. He broke it off with me, and he felt like we were strangers. He broke off our relationship,and broke my heart.